I grew up in a very musical house. When my dad wasn’t playing the guitar in the living room, my mom was cleaning the house to Carole King’s Tapestry or singing an out-of-tune version of “The Lion Sleeps Tonight” in the car. Every time I would get dressed for a big event, my parents would belt out “Isn’t She Lovely” when I walked in the room. It was equal parts annoying and embarrassing. So of course, I planned to do the same thing to my kids.
When my first child, Veronica was born, we nicknamed her RaRa which turned into Baby RaRa. And in keeping with the Lady GaGa vibe, her theme song became the “Ra ra ah ah aah” part of “Bad Romance.” I would sing it to her while changing her diaper, feeding her in the high chair, and any time I wanted to make her smile. Once she was old enough to know her name, she loved listening to the song and called it “her song.” And don’t @me about how the song is inappropriate for infants and toddlers. I was singing along to George Micheal’s “I Want Your Sex” at 7 years old, and I turned out just fine.
After the twins were born, Veronica wanted to know what their songs were going to be. For Stella Rae, we chose Rihanna’s “Under my umbrella, Stella, Stella, Rae, Rae,” and I loved being able to sing “Said I’d always be your mom. Gonna stick out til the end” to my girls. For Odette, or Miss O as we called her, we chose “Oh oh oh oh oh, Oh oh oh oh oh, Odette Rose” to the tune of “The Right Stuff” by New Kids on the Block.
All three of them would take turns requesting their song, and we would all sing it together. They just assumed that everyone had a theme song. And, honestly, I don’t know why everyone doesn’t.
The girls are older now, 8 and 6 years old. We were recently discussing the songs, and I mentioned to Odette that there was another Lady GaGa song that said ”oh” a lot. I sang it to her, and she listened. Then she looked at me and said, “I like the other song about being born this way. I want that to be my song.”
I’ve played that song a few times over the years, but it’s not a regular in the Kidz Bop cycle of music that is constantly playing around here. So, I was a little surprised Odette remembered the song, but I wasn’t surprised that the lyrics stuck with her. She’s always been steadfast in what she wants and who she is. By requesting that song be hers, it felt like she was asking for acceptance and reassurance that she is perfectly made.
So, I began to sing the song to Odette to make sure that was the one she wanted. She smiled and said, “It says God makes no mistakes. That’s why I like it.”
Our kids will tell us how they want to be treated and seen. It may not be a literal request. But if my daughter tells me she wants her theme song to be about being accepted for exactly who she is, I need to hear that message. I need to help her stay that course, because we all know how hard it is to be individuals when we’re young. It’s so much easier to follow the crowd. She is essentially laying out a blueprint for how she wants to be parented.
We do ourselves a disservice as parents if we think our kids are too young to have complex thoughts and feelings or too naive to know who they really are. They will tell you who they are.
You just have to listen.
Tantrums and Twirls 